Prompt Post 1

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At least one of the characters in your prompt must have been in Captain America: The First Avenger or Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

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Update, April 22, 2014:
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Fill: And I Am Always with You, Part 51

[lauralot]

"I'm not offering that bastard amnesty," Romanoff says. She is the first thing James sees when Barton opens the door into the hospital hallway, leaning against the opposite wall. "And I wouldn't ask Steve about it either if I were you. He's going to be bad enough when he finds out you almost went back."

James nearly asks if they have to tell Steve that, but he is trying to be a better human being than Bucky Barnes, so he cannot be a liar. He also nearly asks what makes Rumlow less redeemable than the Soldier when they were both working to fulfill HYDRA's goals. But his mouth is full of chocolate and he does not speak.

Romanoff reaches into her pocket and pulls out a ball chain with two dog tags hanging from it. "They're yours," she says, pressing them into his metal hand. "From the Smithsonian. I thought you might need some help remembering that you're more than a weapon, but it sounds like you have that covered, so you can do whatever you like with them."

He studies the tags. Then he studies Romanoff. "You stole them?"

"You just committed a breaking and entering with the intent of taking someone out of police custody."

James has no argument against that. He wants to throw the tags away or stuff them into his pocket but decides instead to wear them around his neck, under the shirt. They are cold against his skin and a reminder of the person that he was. The person he does not want to become again.

The knife that he took from Stark's kitchen is still in his jeans. He removes it and extends it to Barton, handle out. The archer is already so injured and Romanoff's ankle is still bandaged and he had planned to inflict more harm on them to escape to HYDRA. Whatever potential for human decency James has within him, it is yet to be realized. He should go before he can make any other terrible decisions that threaten his companions, but he can't go because Barton's hand is suddenly on his shoulder and James is still holding the red M&M's.

"Thanks," Barton says. "We should get lunch. I don't know about you, but life-altering decisions make me kinda hungry, personally."

"I don't know what I like." Well, there is pizza and soup, but James thinks that other people grow tired of eating the same thing time and again.

"I do." Barton has pocketed the knife and taken out his phone. "Cap refused to send us off without a list."

*

Hamburgers are something that Bucky Barnes liked and once James bites into his, he understands why. Barton let him see the list: it is on the man's phone, but were it on paper, James thinks it may span multiple sheets. Some items are familiar, like potato soup and ham sandwiches. Some, such as sauerkraut and apple sauce, are foreign.

There is also a list of dislikes. Borscht is on it. So is espresso, though James thinks that Bucky Barnes had not disliked espresso at all.

"How is it?" Romanoff asks. She is dipping fries into something called ketchup, so James takes the condiment and puts it on his plate as well. Red again. It always comes back to red with her.

"I think I shot you," he says. His voice is low to keep anyone from staring their way. He doesn't particularly feel shame in remembering it because he is sure the memory is wrong. "But your hair was red, so it wasn't you."

"It was me." Her tone lacks anger. She does not even look up from her plate. "You shot me twice."

James stares. Firstly, because the thought of shooting someone other than Steve twice without killing them seems impossible. Secondly, because if he strains his mind, he almost remembers the concept of disguises and the thought of wearing false hair over one's own head. His hand drops the fries back onto the plate, then reaches up to tug on Romanoff's locks.

She bats his wrist away before he can make contact. "It's my hair. It's dyed."

"Died?"

"Well, bleached. You never used dye?" She shakes her head, then brushes her hair back behind her shoulders as if to protect it from him. "Sorry, that's a stupid question. It's not like you'd remember if you had."

"You can…make hair change colors?" James asks. He feels as though he ought to be apologizing for shooting her twice, but how can he focus on apologies when the ability exists to take red hair and turn it blonde?

Romanoff smiles. Her eyes look like she is laughing but it's a laugh that doesn't make him flush. "Yes, you can."

"Any color?" He can remember women, elderly, with a bluish tint to white hair. Whether it is an asset memory or a Barnes memory, he is not sure.

She nods, begins to explain the process, but then Barton has his phone at the ready, pulling up images of hair colors that could never be naturally occurring. James nearly returned to HYDRA before he could learn about putting colors in hair. Humanity was definitely the right choice.

"I'm sorry I shot you," he says.

"It wasn't you." Romanoff sips her drink. It's called Coke and it's the same thing they ordered for him. James isn't sure if Barnes had liked carbonated beverages, but he has not had one in seventy years and it burns in his throat more than it tastes of anything. "But thank you."

"Cosmetology and gunshot wounds aside," Barton says, slipping his phone back into his pocket, "we need to talk about your next move, Bucky."

His next planned move had been to break Rumlow out of the hospital and then go where the commander ordered. But that option is now off the table. He supposes his next step is to become a better human being than Bucky Barnes, but that is a long term goal and a vaguely defined one at that. "I don't know."

"See, and that's a problem." Barton's own meal sits untouched; his focus has been on James from the moment they came in. "Because, and no offense—you made a good decision this time but the one before it was awful—you make choices like a yo-yo."

"A what?"

"A thing that flips around," Barton supplies. "Sort of like how yesterday you decided to go back to being a mindless weapon, and today you decided you want to be a person. You did decide the HYDRA thing yesterday, right? Please tell me you weren't planning that for weeks."

"Yesterday." James considers adding that he made the choice while petting Lucky, but he fails to see how that would be relevant and he isn't about to place the blame for his decisions on an innocent dog.

"Why?" Romanoff leans slightly forward. Her eyes are clear and sharp but he does not feel judged by them, only examined. "Was it longing for the familiar?"

He nods. Then shakes his head. "Things were easier before, I think. But also…Bucky Barnes—me—I was a bad person. And I thought I'd rather not be a person than be bad."

"What made you bad?" Barton's voice is soft. His bandaged fingers, which had been twisting the wrapper of his beverage's straw, still.

"I was angry Steve was Captain America and not sick all the time. He didn't need me." James drops his gaze to his lap where his metal hand rests, away from the eyes of strangers. "And I…you were brainwashed for three days and I felt bad for me instead of you. Because I was a tool longer."

Barton's left hand, the one with the splinted wrist, appears in his line of sight and intertwines with James's metal hand. "None of that's bad. It's human."

James shakes his head. He doesn't need false reassurance; he just needs to be better.

"When Nat broke me out of Loki's mind control," Barton says, "I said things. Things that were dismissive to what I knew she'd been through. It's human. It's not pretty, but it's not evil." His hand does not move.

"That's different."

"How so?"

"You're a good person," James says. He doesn't raise his head at Barton's sigh.

But he does look up when Romanoff speaks. "Look, whatever you want to think of yourself, your decisions don't exist in a vacuum. The choices that you make affect Steve as well. They affect all your friends. So let's not have a repeat of today the next time you remember anything less than shining about yourself, all right? You need to talk about these things to someone."

He nods.

"Promise."

"I promise."

"Good." Her attention returns to her plate. "So what's it going to be? Are we headed back to the tower, or should we find some other residence while you're sorting things out?"

"Steve's going to be angry."

"That's a given." Barton's hand slides out of his and for the first time since they sat down, the archer touches his food. "There's gonna be a lecture. Such a lecture. And that'll happen no matter where we go. Not even gonna try to prevent that, sorry."

"I think I want to go back." He is not sure he can stay indefinitely, not sure if they will even want him when they learn the sort of person Barnes truly was, but to go elsewhere without even stopping in seems wrong. Cowardly.

"Okay." Romanoff is wiping a napkin at her lips, but James can hear her smile. "We can head home as soon as we're through here."

James pauses to think, then slowly shakes his head. "I…I think there are things I want to do first."

"As long as they don't involve visiting more of your old work associates, fine by me."

Re: Fill: And I Am Always with You, Part 51

[(Anonymous)]

Oho, I'm curious where Bucky wants to go first. Also, looking forward to the inevitable talk with Steve. Well, kind of.

Re: Fill: And I Am Always with You, Part 51

[lauralot]

Bucky has a couple of things he wants to do. And one of them is ridiculous.